Where do I begin?

Imri's sleep has improved dramatically. It's like a switch got flipped about a week or so ago and he has taken to sleeping MUCH better. He still awakens 1-3 times a night but is easily settled with some water. It's all the more remarkable considering he is teething premolars and has had a miserable cold. The humidifier in his room has helped - I think the white noise also has some soothing qualities there. Changing him during the night also seems to help, or putting a overnight diaper on him. I'm just glad we stuck to our guns and didn't do CIO.

Imri's naps during the day have improved as well - from 20 minute power naps to naps lasting anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 hours! Yowza. It's rather amazing. And while I am still tired, I am not exhausted constantly and my marriage has improved.

Speaking of which, the other day I noticed some spotting. That in conjunction with the pelvic pain I've been having and plain old stomach tenderness made me nod in realization ... the bitch was back. It was an assumption, as I really have stopped tracking my cycles, I put on a pad and went on my merry way. That night there wasn't much there but I dutifully put on a pad the next day as well, as the spotting continued.

Today? Nothing. Zip. Weirdness. So I posted to my fellow infertiles on our bulletin board and they immediately asked if I had POASed. Of course not, I replied! We haven't been trying. Besides, I didn't think I had any FREDs in the house. I finally did find one that had expired some six months ago and took it right into the bathroom, laughing at myself for even thinking what I was thinking. I mean - J and I haven't been very intimate at all of late - it's hard to do when you're in sleep training hell - and I couldn't even remember the date of my last period. Not to mention I wasn't using first morning urine ...

Imagine my shock and surprise as a second line appeared nearly instantly. Faint, but definitely there.



I figured it was wrong. It's out of date and heck, there's just no way. So I unhurriedly got myself and Imri together and wandered over to the Wall of Marts, where I purchased the Cle@r Blue HPTs, you know, the ones that actually say "pregnant" or "not pregnant". When those first came out, a stab of envy went through me that I'd never get to use them - silly, but hey - such is the life of the infertile. I was still laughing at myself as I plopped them into the cart - after all, there was no way - I was being self-indulgent.

Got home, got settled, got the FRED out of the bag ... it was mid-afternoon. Off I went to the bathroom and peed dutifully, watching the little hourglass churn away.



Holy crap.

I'm pregnant.

I am going into the OB tomorrow morning as the pelvic pain is slightly worrisome and they want to make sure it's in utero. Also, it would be nice to know when I'm due, if I ever get that far. And to top it off, I had Xrays done last week - I laughed at the "tell us if you think you may be pregnant" sign. As if.

John and I are both stunned. I've given away everything "infant" that I had ... and I have no maternity leave coverage as I let that drop. Money is very very tight. I broke it to him gently, expecting him to be quite upset, but he is not. Worried, more than anything.

But I'm pregnant.

Overwhelmed, happy and terrified don't even begin to describe the way I'm feeling. I had become content with the thought of only one child, my sweet Imri. After all, how could I ask for more? Certainly, there is no better. Yes, I was content. And now the thought of two under two fills me with fear. I'm sure the happiness will follow very very soon.

Holy shit.

I'm pregnant.