I am SO hopeful for Thalia, Bugsy,Frances,Bugs and Olivia ! A virtual possible babyboom in our virtual midst ... if I calculate right ...
Silly me. I was going to say "we should all be due around the same time!".
Don't worry. I knocked wood. As if it would be that simple ...
It reminds me of a posting on our infertile bulletin board "my coworker isn't pregnant ... she's 'having a baby!!'. " And it's sadly true - the fertile world doesn't understand (lucky them) that "pregnant" doesn't equal "baby" for all of us. Which explains my erstwhile ambivalence to this alleged pregnancy, I suppose.
When pregnant with Imri, by this stage the morning sickness was full blast. Ick. Not to mention the sore boobs, cramping, etc. This pregnancy? No sickness, really. No sore boobs - yeah, a tad veiny but not sore unless Imri is sucking on em. I seem to still be lactating a little, which I thought would stop during pregnancy. The cramping and pangs I get tend to worry more than reassure me.
And the fact of the matter is - we are seriously screwed financially with this pregnancy - no maternity leave and boatloads of debt - we are not sure how we are going to make it through. People who say "you'll find a way" are kind and offering comfort, but unless they have a couple of spare mortgage payments to throw our way, I don't think they grasp the enormity of it all. It's pretty serious.
And termination? That's not really an option now, is it? I am fiercely pro-choice but how in the world would I ever live with myself? How could I do that and wonder if it was another child as amazing and wondrous as Imri?
J and I make decent livings - it's just old debt that has us in the hole - we *should* be able to provide easily and we can't and it's killing me.
I need to start playing the lottery. Oh yes I do. Right now it's the only way out that I see. But helpful suggestions are always welcome.
I just wish I could be more ... joyous.
4 comments:
I think it would be unbearably hard to terminate a baby after working so hard to get a baby in the first place. Hoping you can find some way through the money maze. I supposed downsizing on your property isn't an option?
oh I get this...after suffering two m/c this fall, one in Sept and another in Oct. PLS send prayers, we're back in the 2ww again.
love
Lisa
Re: how this pregnancy is so different from the first.
I became pregnant with my daughter when my first-born son was just 9 months old. It was such a "symptom-less" pregnancy, as well as a fast and easy labor/delivery!
They say it takes 2 years to fully return to "normal," pre-pregnancy-wise. I attribute the ease of my second time to that and to my daughter's gender (and smaller size). The gender thing was reinforced by my third pregnancy, complicated and another long labor, and, yes, another son.
My $.02, fwiw.
Wishing you well.
My wife and I read your blog from time to time; we are so pleased for you; I am sure you will find this baby much less stress than your first.
Regarding finances - we found that our second (we had 2) cost us far less than the first as we already had so much baby equipment. Yes, you will find a way even though it is difficult.
As a side issue - have you and John devoted any thought to moving to Canada? Here in Alberta we are short so many trained workers. We are presently bringing in nurses from Europe to fill the shortfall. Almost every business is looking for trained workers, and wages and benefits are good for hard workers; this is all due to the high US demand for energy from Canada, and we have lots of energy related industries. There are many expatriate Americans here - several in my neighbourhood that I know of. Our standard of living is high and it is great place to live and raise children. Alberta's education system is, on average, one of the top in the world (but the students have to work too!). Calgary was recently listed as one of the top 10 cities in the world to live (Vancouver was also on the list - the rest were in Europe and Australia; no American cities made the list).
Since you are Canadian, John would not have any trouble getting into Canada (providing he has no criminal record).
However, somethings are expensive -smoking for one; the government really wants us to stop smoking! Other luxury items can be expensive (wine just went up again in price - a good bottle is over Cdn $15.00 now!)
As an alternate - how about Quebec? While the standard of living is somewhat lower, at least in that province they value children and have decent maternity leave and child care.
Yes, I know there are issues, but think about it - we need good people here.
Best wishes
David
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