I looked at the ticker I use on my infertility bulletin board today ... 99 days left in this pregnancy. Considering I only went to 37 weeks with Imri - I probably don't even have that long. Holy smokes. We really need to get cracking on fixing up Jr's room and turning it into Imri's room. I'm thinking a train theme. Mebbe.
Have I mentioned that Jr is currently enjoying week 3 or 4 on Parris Island, doing Marine Boot Camp? Hopefully it helps him realize his potential and increase his self esteem and self confidence. He needs those things desperately.
I remain grumpy and hormonal these days and hence I was looking forward to spending a couple of hours at a girlfriend's jewelery party this past weekend. I often have Imri with me when I go, so it was up to John to watch him this weekend when I went out.
Now understand - I rarely go anywhere myself. I don't have a lot of friends in the area, so this was a treat for me - John wanted me to take Imri "so the girls could see how big and cute he was" (right, I didn't fall for that) and I ended up putting Imri down for a nap around 12. I was looking forward to some fun girl time!
I told John "Imri may wake up crying because he didn't eat much breakfast, but that usually means that he's hungry - there are fishsticks or meatballs, he likes both. There are veggies and he always wants fruit" John nodded and off I went, cell phone at the ready, in case of emergency.
I got home around 3:30 and found John and Imri sitting on the couch, eating raisins. Everyone seemed happy - John told me how they had just come in from outdoors and were having a snack, and Imri had slept for about 2 hours. Great! Right?
Well, as we sat there, John says "Oh yeah. And he didn't wake up crying so I didn't give him anything to eat."
I did a double take. And I said .... WHAT? He repeated himself. I said ... so he hasn't had lunch? "Well, you said he'd probably wake up crying ... and he didn't. And he said he wasn't hungry (he always does)- so I figured he was fine!"
I shook my head in disbelief. John then told me that he had a loose poopy diaper too ... to which I asked ... and you're giving him RAISINS????? (this recently happened and we talked about how you shouldn't really give dried fruit to someone with diarrhea). John got peevish with me and told me that he was merely following instructions.
So I guess that based on John's logic, John himself should only eat lunch if he's crying from hunger, huh?? I mean, if he's only going to feed Imri if he's crying from hunger ... sounds right, no?
Sure enough, I sat Imri in his booster and gave him cheese, hummus and crackers which he wolfed down in record time and he had a huge dinner a couple of hours later.
And John still doesn't get it. Even last night he was claiming "I was merely doing as instructed". I said "hey ... I didn't say 'only feed him if he's crying'. I said 'he may be crying when he wakes ...'." Speak about literal interpretations!
From what I understand, this is not an unusual theme in the grand scheme of men taking care of their children and I don't get it. Especially as John raised his own son from a relatively young age ... but then, he lived with his mother and I'm sure she helped out a lot.
It's just curious to me.
Imri's been sick the last couple of days and not sleeping well at night and I am going to get my hair cut late this afternoon. A much-needed and well-deserved break - John is returning a touch early from work so I can go. And because Imri has been sick and whiny, I am looking forward to some alone time.
I'm assuming that I don't need to tell John to feed Imri dinner. Stay tuned.
Last night Mary Poppins was on TV. We don't normally let Imri watch much TV but Mary Poppins? Please - it's a wondrous thing and he seemed to enjoy the musical cartoon parts of it. Those are the best parts, anyway. But he does seem to have taken Mary Poppins lullabye to the children to heart. You know, the one she sings when they insist they aren't going to go to sleep?
Stay awake, don't rest your head
Don't lie down upon your bed
While the moon drifts in the skies
Stay awake, don't close your eyes
Though the world is fast asleep
Though your pillow's soft and deep
You're not sleepy as you seem
Stay awake, don't nod and dream
Stay awake, don't nod and dream
We're still in the trenches regarding Imri's sleeping habits. We are not taking him out of the crib any longer, no more night time feedings, no more co-sleeping, he gets water when he cries ... it's been a few weeks now and he is still waking anywhere between 2-7 times a night. He got to a point where he'd go down around 8 and sleep till 11:30 -12ish - that has gone out the window too now, with an early waking around 9:30. It used to be 10:30, now it's 9:30. On the bright side, he *is* taking two full naps at daycare now - usually an hour each. That is new - he has never napped that way in the past but it may have something to do with the new sleeping pattern at home combined with some changes in where he sleeps at daycare.
I'm truly not sure what to do anymore. He's given us one or two nights where he has only woken once or twice and I thought I had reached Nirvana, but those are rare - and I do the majority of sleep patrol duty. It's effing hard as hell when you're working full time. It's even harder when the man you love decides to stay home the one night he did extra sleep patrol just because he can. And you come home after 10 hours on your feet and ask "what's for dinner" and nothing has been taken out, no housework has happened and your beloved spouse answers "nothing" to the question of "what did you do all day?".
I'm having trouble staying awake while driving home and that is bad, my friends.
This is my approximate schedule:
"rise" to Imri's hungry cry around 4:30-4:45. Nurse and try and put him back down for more sleep. It works sometimes, sometimes it doesn't.
shower if I can. I have taken to showering with a small boy staring at me, surrounded by books and toys in the bathroom.Dress.Change small boy and dress him.
Fix his lunch/snack if I didn't do it the night before. Make my breakfast, coffee, etc. Run everything out to the vehicle and start it up while he is in his highchair, working on a bottle/raisin bread.
Leave between 6-6:10.
Arrive at daycare around 6:30. Get him settled, etc.
Arrive at work around 7:30. Work - usually the longest and busiest room, on my feet, pushing heavy stretchers, etc etc etc whine whine moan complain till 4:30 - sometimes till 5 if we are really short staffed. Or if I have to pick up Imri, then I leave around 4.
Get in the car and battle I-270. Struggle to stay awake and drive safely amongst the many assholes that pollute that road. Get home anywhere between 45 minutes to 2 hours later (yeah, Thanksgiving was a bitch), so around 5:30 - 6.
Walk in the door to a boy's beautiful smile. John hasn't taken anything out for dinner, fed the boy nor changed a diaper. I do all of those things over the next hour or so, which brings us to 7ish. Then John and I eat. Imri usually jonzes for food from our plates. Yeah, I'd love to do a sit-down family dinner every night but I'm just thankful for getting food on my plate and sitting down in front of the TV at this point. Wolf down food so I get time to play with Imri.
8ish - Imri wants boob - but there's not much there anymore so it's upstairs for stories, bottle, boob and bed. Once he's down, I quickly get into pjs and make his lunch. To bed betweeen 8:30 and 9:30, with great hopes that usually evaporate with the first cries ... and up throughout the night - 9:30, 1:30, 2:30, 3:30, 4:30 ...and sometimes in between.
So I'm pretty much going from 5am to 9pm. And then from 9:30pm to 4:30am.
I'm exhausted. And I really don't know what to do to change things.
But, nonetheless, I wish you all a belated Happy Hanukkah, a Merry Xmas and a very happy, joyous, and - restful - New Year.
