Chapter 2 (or is it 3?) in "I think I was raised by wolves"

My parents are older - I've mentioned this before - and rather set in their ways but aside from that, my mother tends to take every situation and ratchet it up several notches. I'm not sure if this is a cry for attention or whether she's just never learned to cope appropriately but her attitude tends to rain down on the rest of us, including my father.

I've tried very hard to call them frequently as we live so far away and I want them to share in their grandson's life as much as possible, but you have to wade through a lot of my mother's bullshit and it's getting old and tired. There is always something that has ruined something else for my mother. My mother could find flaws in perfection, trust me.

They do have my sympathies as they had a difficult week. Their fridge compressor died and they had to go 5 days without a fridge which is hard, especially in your 70s - but I called to say hi yesterday and you would have thought I had asked my mother to drop everything and walk on over the 700 miles or so to visit us ...

You see, she's completely stressed out. Why? Because my brother and his wife are expecting in July (nothing new) and sister B is going in for surgery around the same time(we also knew this)and how mom just can't care for her kids because she's exhausted (ok, just tell her, you're always exhausted) and sister A is not well (also nothing new) and the fridge and yadayadayadayadayadayada and how her hand hurts (!!!!)because she was on the phone for an hour (!!!!)with sister A and how she's just going to have to call me back tomorrow.

Which wouldn't be a big deal if she hadn't said exactly the same thing last week and I never heard from her. Or how she seems to call very rarely now anyway.

Add to this that my parents have told me that they are coming here at some point during the summer (either before or after a visit to Quebec for whale-watching) and I'd like to get an approximation so perhaps I can rent a cottage at the beach or plan something nice to do for them and us - and while their ETA is dependent on whether or not my brother and his wife have a boy (for a bris or baby naming) it would still be nice to get approximates, but I obviously made the mistake of asking more than once over a two week period.
You would think I had asked for the moon. I mean - I'm trying to do something nice. Anyway, whatever. Besides, John and I do have some plans (not many) this summer and we will not cancel them at the last minute because my parents suddenly decide that "this is the weekend we're coming ..."

So I'm listening to my mother and making the appropriate commiseration sounds and I asked her if she got the last batch of Imri pics in her email, hoping this might improve her mood. She got all upset and it became a huge production, how she hasn't had time, the fridge was so stressful, everything is so stressful, she didn't really look at the pictures and how she just can't cope ... (did I mention that the fridge is fixed now?) and how badly my father took the poor customer service of the fridge repair people ....and she abruptly says something like "I just can't handle all this and I will call you tomorrow" and I got short with her and said "fine" and hung up. I mean, I was just calling so she could hear how her grandson is talking, really but she never even asked how he was.

It's my guess she could tell I was upset and she had my dad call back only I didn't answer when I saw their number light up the caller ID and my dad (who has to deal with all her moods, poor man) left a message about how I shouldn't worry about when they're coming they will let us know - so now it sounds as if that's why I called -which isn't why ...ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! It looks like they tried to call again in the afternoon when we were out, but no message was left so maybe she clued in.

I am just getting so tired of mom and her issues crap. Why can't she just take a chill pill and relax and try and enjoy her grandson (and everything else in life), rather than working everything into a state of panic?? Why does everything have to be a major meltdown?

I was so hurt yesterday I actually cried when I got off the phone. I should be used to my parent's rejection by now. I guess it just never occurred to me that it would be directed at my son, directly or indirectly. I'm just not going to let him ever be affected by that crap.