The results are in!

I thought I had it all under control. I hadn't panicked, hadn't gotten stressed. I called last Friday for results but was told it was too soon. I hardly thought about it over the long weekend. I promised myself I wouldn't call Tuesday either, because of said long weekend.

But I haven't been sleeping well. The numbness and tingling in my hands wakes me at night, I toss and turn and can't get comfortable. Thoughts have been racing through my mind - about everything and anything but not the amnio. Nosireebob, anything but. It's only been 10 days, after all.

Today I awoke grumpy. The sleeplessness has really been getting to me and I don't handle sleep deprivation well (yeah yeah, I know I have lots to look forward to). To top it off, the coffee maker was misbehaving and Jr was in one of his loveliest sullen moods - I guess 25 minute showers are a hardship. Anyway, I got to work only to find that my manager had given me the heaviest case load of anyone. By far. Yeah, always a nice thing to do to the pregnant girl with the swollen ankles. I said nothing. It's really just not worth it. Not yet, anyway. I'm honestly not asking for special treatment - just consideration.

I busied myself with work. At lunch time, I went searching for the phone number and finally called around 2. I left a message on the genetic counselor's voice mail. Around 4, I called again. Left a message with the secretary. By 4:30 I gave up and figured ... ah, not today. Guess the results weren't in yet.

At 4:45 the office phone rang. My heart stopped as I was called to the phone. It was the counselor. Without hesitation she told me "Your results are fine. All the chromosomes are normal, everything is normal. Your spina bifida test was also well within normal range." I started to cry, scaring the other nurses who knew pretty much what this must be about ... eventually managed to give them the thumbs up that all was well. I don't remember much else the GC said, but she reassured me that the baby is indeed a boy. I felt as if an enormous weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

A boy. A healthy, normal, sweet baby boy. I called John and told him through my tears ... our wonderful, healthy son.

I can finally relax a bit and enjoy this ... finally. I can plan ... finally. I can truly dream now ... because this dream may be coming true after all.