The source of my contentment

More experienced BTDT moms have probably already had that stunning revelation, the one where you realize that your thoughts of yesteryear were completely erroneous. In this instance I speak of my son ... how big I thought he was last year when we took him on the train for his 2nd birthday, how grown up (relatively speaking, of course), etc ...

I'm sitting here looking at pictures of his 3rd birthday - once again we took him to that same train and I took pictures with thoughts of comparison dancing in my head. As I was clicking away, the realisation dawned ... he is so much bigger, so much more grown up this year.

Ok, laugh at me. This is not rocket science, I'm well aware that with each passing year, he will g-d willing, get bigger and older and wiser. It's hard to explain and I'm not much of a writer but somehow when I took his pictures last year on the train, I was overcome with how big my boy had become ... and now ...

Ah, I'll shut up. I can't really explain. It's far too nebulous to nail down into words, at least for me. The pictures will speak for me, perhaps. It was a glorious autumn day, chilly but sunny and bright.




And Carmel, the tiny baby who slept the entire train ride a year ago, this year was an active participant. She bounced on my lap as if to say "faster, faster, mommy!"



She is fearless, by the way. Utterly fearless.






And just for the heck of it, some autumn pics.










And while life is hectic, crazy and often out of control, I look at my kids and something just clicks for me. As Jodi put it so eloquently, I've won my own version of the "Mommy Wars".

Yeah. :)