John and I are having some issues, which has led to a decrease in posting. Suffice it to say that we have wildly disparate ideas on parenting and anger management (his, not mine) and it's taking a toll on our relationship. A heavy toll, unfortunately.
Why does it seem that so many men have trouble with the concept of marriage counseling, anyway?
The situation is definitely not being helped by Imri's terrible sleeping habits - they had been improving before he was sick but since then it's been a giant step backwards with him waking every hour sometimes and
us me not getting more than 1-2 hours of sleep in a row at any one time. Having tried a bunch of other things, I am at the stage where I am about ready to let him cry ... but John won't. He tried sitting in the room with Imri the other night while he was crying and all that did was serve to piss Imri off even more. I know, I have already tried that avenue and the same thing happened - but John doesn't like to listen to anything I say, it seems. My experience counts for zippo.
I mean, wouldn't it piss you off more if you were unhappy and crying and your parent just sat there and stared at you and did nothing but say "I'm here"? "I know you're here, damnit ... now pick me up and do something with me" would be what I'd be thinking.
Anyway, life is rough and posting will likely be (even more)sporadic. But I thought I'd post a picture of a very happy boy apres popsicle sharing with mommy.
8 comments:
It's really hard to agree on parenting styles when you have an unhappy baby in the picture. I never wanted to let my babies cry but I FINALLY listened to my husband one night because i had just HAD it. One would start crying and then the other, then it would take almost an hour to calm them down and rock them back to sleep. I thought "this is ridiculous". I took control from that day forward (my boys were 7 months old by this point). In a few days, they learned to hold bottles (yes, they didn't even know how to do that yet), put themselves to sleep w/o rocking and learned how to calm themselves down when they awakened during the night. It was HEAVEN.
I hope you find something that's right for you. You'll have to know whenever it's best for you.
I just found my way here...sorry to ramble on and on.
Sara - I'm so bummed to hear this. I know that you've been having a tough time with Imri's sleep and now, to add the crap with DH ... UGH.
My advice (for what it's worth!) is don't sit in the room with Imri @ bedtime. That works great when the kids are older and popping out of bed constantly. It doesn't work when they are infants and don't understand (like you said) what you're doing there and WHY you're not picking them up.
Good grief. I'm thinking of you & hope that all these issues resolve SOON! Why don't you plan a trip to CA??! I'm meeting with Cam and other So. Cal chics next month!!!
Here's a thought: Rather than "standing in the room" and confusing Imri, walk over to the crib, lean in and embrace him while he's standing there without picking him up. Worked for me!
Hope things get better soon. I love that pic. Is that juice on his face??lol
Oh that is not good...John's got to take your lead in this. I dragged S to counseling when he started getting power-struggle-weird with the baby and it's been the best thing I've ever done. Imri needs you both on the same page - go and resolve this. You'll feel so much better for it. And you'll have a husband who knows it's important to listen to you.
Worrying, worrying, and hoping things work out.
coming out of lurk mode for this.
disagreeing on parenting, sleep deprived, and a teenage stepkid...I know of what you speak. (and I am in Maryland!)
Hope you guys get it figured out.
oh, lady, me too. the, ahem, disagreements over parenting styles is driving me into the fetal position on such a regular basis that I've lately begun to curl immediately into it when we begin any sort of "discussion."
why don't men understand that therapy can be incredibly beneficial, with tool-providing and clarity in communication and everything else? why?
and, oh, dear god, poor you and the no-sleeping. *sends hug through internet portals*
Post a Comment