So,
John and I have been dividing *coughcoughBULLSHITcoughcough* the shifts up, because my beautiful boy still wants to wake every 2-3 hours and eat. *sigh*.
This is how the nights have been going:
7:30 - nurse and to bed. Which is earlier than it had been but it seems to be when he is tiring these days.
8 or 8:30 - first wakening (sometimes, not always). More food provided by yours truly.
11:30 or so - crying and hungry. Nursed.
1:30 or 2:30 - crying and hungry. Nursed. Then bottle from dad.
4 or 4:30 - crying. Sometimes hungry, sometimes just needs paci.
5:00 - M/W/F - time to wake up and get going to daycare with mommy.
John is supposed to catch a couple of those shifts. He got the 2:00 last night. After I had already nursed Imri a bit and put him back to sleep - he awoke again and wanted more.
So, I am not sure what to do, because it seems to me that my son is (sometimes) legitimately hungry and other times he isn't. He is obviously having a tough time getting back to sleep on his own without nursing.
His father is also in bed, asleep. Right now. On a Thursday morning. Because, you see ... I am sick. I am coughing up and dripping down yellow crud and have absolutely no voice. Imri has also started sneezing yellow stuff, despite being on antibiotics some 7-8 days now for another ear infection. John said (with no apparent symptoms and in an audible voice, no less) "I took some sinus stuff last night because I have what you have and it kept me up all night. I'm really tired, so I'm going to go get some rest". I just smiled. He asked me, of course, why I was smiling. Because he knows, damnit. I said "no reason" - because it just really isn't worth getting into. I mean, he wouldn't ask why I was smiling if he didn't already know.
Yeah, baby. And strangely, he didn't hear the baby crying last night, either - except for when I was already in there, nursing and one time, around 2:30. After I had already nursed Imri once and he re-awoke and wanted more.
Do I sound bitter? I am, a little. Mostly I'm bone tired. I was really hoping that having Imri sleep in his crib would finally lead to some rest for me and it's frustrating that it isn't. Maybe we're I'm doing this sleep thing wrong?
And I have to take Imri to the doctor at 1pm and also hope that my own doctor can fit me in today because I really need to be on some antibiotics. I told John that he can watch Imri when I see the doctor today.
I don't mean to be unfair to my husband. He is a good dad and a good man to be married to, it's just frustrating that (huge generalization coming, please ignore at your leisure) men just take the time for themselves and don't seem to think anything of it.
For example: John's nephew eloped and we've been invited to a party on a Saturday in early June. I mention it to my husband and he says "well, it's a busy weekend, you know. You see, it coincides with a (ick)golf tournament(on the Saturday) and the NASCAR race on the Sunday. So I'm not sure we can go".
At which point I looked at him absolutely incredulously and said: "You mean to tell me you've been planning to go to both events and leave me alone to care for the baby all weekend while you party?"
He had the grace to look shame-faced and then tried to wile his way out of it by saying that he had been debating which one he should give up .... uh-huh.
Again, my husband is a good man. He has two huge vices - golf - and that isn't a bad thing, except for that it takes an inordinate amount of time (and money, in my not so humble opinion) - and smoking. Which I won't get into again. Ok, I may but not right now.
And in fairness to him, he does "get it" sometimes, such as the time I went for the massage he got for me over the Xmas holidays and as I was leaving he said "and don't come back without some clothes, ok? I mean, jeans, khakis, some shirts ... you have nothing!" Which was nice to hear and I did, in fact, do some shopping for me, a rarity in my life. And he does put dinner on the table some days, he does do stuff around the house, he does care for Imri (mostly when I'm not there, but still), and he obviously dotes on him.
I don't mean to put him down and I hope I haven't here - I am just shaking my head and the stuff that's spewing out from said shaking is making it onto this page.
These are the major issues as I see them:
1)I am really not sure how to get Imri to sleep longer and not do CIO. Thoughts? Ideas? Suggestions?
2)I am still not getting much sleep and it is really affecting my health and wellbeing and my husband doesn't understand this much.
3)Work is sucking in a huge way, including lots of drama and major short-staffedness, not to mention my nurse manager who is being a total bint.
4)My husband is still smoking and doesn't often "get it", despite conversations about all said issues.
On the good side there is also plenty, however. Imri has decided he likes peaches. YAY!!!!! Finally, a solid I can feed him.
He also has taken a fancy to Granny Smith apples. Yes, the boy who turned up his nose at my freshly made Gala applesauce, stared at me as I munched on an apple and when I gave it to him, went completely bonkers over it. It was very funny.
Imri looked up at me the other day and said very distinctly "mama". I did a double take, looked at him and started to bawl. I am not sure he knows what it means but ... he knows it brings great excitement and tears! I can almost hear him thinking "what's with the food provider?? Nice lady, but kinda strange ... maybe I should try that mama thing again sometime. Ah, maybe not ... there's a toy!!...chomp."
He is also very close to crawling. He has the arm thing down pat but the leg thing isn't working quite yet.
Daycare continues to be a good situation for him - he is getting good care there.
And more than anything? He is just plain ol' deliciously wonderful! Such a happy child - and I am so so SO in love.
And if you can stand one more good thing? My immigration papers are in and I have the receipts to prove it. Yay!! Now I just have to wait for them to schedule my fingerprinting session and then ... keep on waiting till they process me. Which may be a year or more. Hey, but at least I'm legal :)
6 comments:
Try putting some very diluted rice cereal in his bottle or give it to him at bedtime...he probably really is hungry and needs more solids to get him through the night.
Also...if you HAVE to get up with him in the night, don't turn on ANY lights, don't talk to him, don't socialize with him at all. He needs to know that nothing really special happens at night. It's hard because they look so cute at night in their "jammies"...but it's really important that you're 100% anti-social with him. Don't forget - I have three kids - ALL slept through the night by the time they were 12 weeks old. :)
I couldn't count on my dh getting up with ours at all. He'd say I didn't hear anything or "I have to work tomorrow." Thank goodness ours sleeps through now. Have you tried a pacifier for atleast one of those feedings to see if he drifts back to sleep? Cosleeping is so much easier but we all need a break! Even when I coslept I was on high alert so I wasn't really sleeping that great! LOL Hope things get better soon!
Oh Sara-
He is SO beautiful. I sympathize with the sleep thing. We are trying to get Daisy out of our bed and into the Pack and Play (a foot away) since I wake up if she moves even slightly and am not getting much sleep.
Alas, it's hard.
I want to snuggle her. And she wakes up more if she's not with me.
Sigh.
I've heard the rice cereal thing for hungry babies at night.. and it sounds like Imri is old enough that it wouldn't be a harmful thing.
Good luck, and let us know how it goes.
We have a similar sleep issue going on with my daughter, who's a month or two younger than Imri (who's gorgeous, by the way). When we moved her to the crib and she became too big to swaddle, we couldn't get her to sleep for more than an hour or two at a time. And, like your son, she'd need to nurse before going back to sleep.
Surprisingly, what helped was confining her somewhat in the crib -- turns out she wasn't really all that hungry, but for some reason it bothered her to be in a space as (relatively) open as the crib. We had a little co-sleeper box thingie that we never ended up using when she was tiny. I put it in the crib, plopped her into it, and didn't hear a peep for four hours. It's been a tremendous help. She now tends to get at least one six-hour stretch a night. It doesn't seem to bother her that she's way too long for it (her feet hang over the end).
We also have a sleep positioner that makes life easier, because DD doesn't like to lie completely flat.
Hope these tips help. Hang in there! (and don't feel bad that your kid isn't sleeping through the night. Even on our best days, I'm up with my girl at least once).
Hubby: is a man. period. His brain is different. He'll never "get" things like you get them.
Imri: Adorable, sweet, gorgeous.
Sleep through the night: I'd try some rice cereal in his bottles. Simon's been on it since he was really young due to his acid reflux, and we just kept him on it as does wonders in keeping him sated through the wee hours.
CIO: let me know if you make any headway. We just bought a fishtank to keep in his room as we prepare to move the crib in there. As of now he's still in the bed with us mauling me nightly. It's so hard.
You: gorgeous.
Hugs.
In my experience with getting my (exclusively breastfed) 6 month old to sleep in her crib away from me & roughly through the night: I felt that letting her cry, and then going back but not nursing was the most teasing, taunting kind of thing. Period. For a breastfed baby, there is no such thing as Mama comforting them without the boob!
It boiled down to letting her cry without intervening one night. It took 55 agonizing minutes at bedtime. The next night, it was 20, and the night after, it was 2. Since then it is sometimes a whimper of protest.
For the many middle of the night wakenings - I found that when my monitor was off, she woke up less? Then I realized it was simply that I could not hear her whimpering through my sleep & the closed bedroom door. I only woke up when it was full-fledged-crying. And so I did away with the monitor completely.
I felt that my daughter was ready to sleep and was waking out of habit. Since then I have gone back to sleeping with my door open and I can say that once the initial few days had passed, she was waking only once or twice, and going back to sleep on her own.
As I'm sure you know, it all boils down to being ready/willing or not to hear your child cry. Do what works best for you. You may decide you'd rather be sleep deprived and going to his room all night, you may decide to keep him in your bed, you may decide to really let him cry and see what happens.
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