Happy Chanukah!

From all of us at Chez Chaos.

Under the letter O for "obvious"

Do not hold baby above your face as if "flying" right after feeding said baby.

See also: "oops",

See also: P for "projectile", V for "vomit" and &^@%#*.

Five things about me

As I mentioned previously, the gorgeous and talented Daytagged me with a meme, requesting that I share 5 things about me.

Five things. Man, I'm gonna have to dig deep, especially seeing as she did such a great job - and has such an interesting life. I am not so sure I do ...er... at least not stuff I want the general public to know about. But here goes.

1. I spent two years in the Israeli Army on the West Bank. All politics aside, it was probably one of the better times of my life.

2. I love food and find it extremely sensual. John says that my motto should be "life is too short for bad food and bad coffee". I'd take a serious cooking class if I could afford to do so. Unfortunately, I don't often have the time to cook as I would like - and besides, my husband thinks Kraft dinner (Mac and cheese to the Americans) is haute cuisine.

3. I am very pro-choice. Having found myself knocked up at the tender age of 16 and having to be "interviewed" by a committee of 3 men who had the right to decide whether or not I could have an abortion, opened my eyes to the lack of rights that women had - and have - regarding their own bodies and reproductive rights. Sadly, I find those rights - rights we have fought so hard for over the last several years - are being eroded in the USA. It makes me madder than I can say and my regret is that I don't have the money nor the time (nor the vote - yet)to devote to making my voice heard more loudly. Makes me question whether I should bother filling out those US citizenship papers.

4. I wish I was a kinder, more graceful and more patient person. I often wish I was more of a lot of things.

5. I never thought parenting would be so utterly wonderful. Yeah, it's hard. But I don't care. I never thought I could love someone as much as I love and adore my son. I never thought that I'd want to be a SAHM and definitely never thought I'd be nigh-hysterical at the thought of having to leave my boy with someone else.

Maybe that's more than 5 ... but there you have it.

In case I don't get back here on time, a happy and joyous holiday season to all my readers. Who knew last year, when we were in the depths of despair after another miscarriage that this year would bring Imri into our arms? I can never ever say "I'm not a lucky person" ever again.

Happy Hanukkah!!

Bonehead Maneuver #14,348

Ah, my wedding and engagement rings, I thought to myself as I smoothed lotion over my freshly-showered self. Imri snoozed nearby and I grabbed my beloved rings. It had been so long since I had a chance to wear them - they came off around 16 weeks into my pregnancy because of awful swelling. I had tried them on before, but they hadn't fit and I had put them away and waited patiently.

"I've lost 35+ lbs ... I'm SURE they'll fit NOW!"

I slid on my wedding band, a slender band of white gold and diamonds. It barely squeezed over my knuckle and landed in its place. "Snug but ok" I thought. And reached for the engagement ring despite the "Danger! Danger!" whispering in my teeny brain.

Two minutes later found me with my hand in ice water and the other hand on the phone to the emergency room, my finger swelling rapidly and turning different shades of colour, none of them good.

Ten minutes later found Imri and I in the SUV and headed for the emergency department, icepack held tightly in my hand.

The RN's words were "grossly swollen". His usual ring removal tricks wouldn't work - they had to be cut off. None of the really nice RNs laughed at me, in fact they shared similar stories. They asked me if it hurt and nothing really hurts but my pride.

I love my husband. He hasn't laughed at me once over this (wise man).

The good news? The rings are repairable (read: up-sizeable)and Imri finally pooped. It's only been three days. Three days worth of baby poop in one ...er... pooping. Oy.

I just wanted to wear my rings again. *sigh*

And that's my day so far. How's yours?

Happy mediums

I'm starting to think maybe I was raised by wolves.

Perhaps I'm being unkind to wolves in my assessment of their parenting skills, but I really am shaking my head after some comments by my mom and eldest sister.

Now I'll give them both the fact that it's been a long while (40 and 20 years, respectively)since either of them has raised an infant and attitudes and things have changed yada yada yada but seriously, folks?
Some of the comments have been as such:

"Wrap the baby up and leave him outside for a couple of hours - it'll do him good to get fresh air and you'll get a break". This said when it was in the 30-40s (Farenheit).

"You shouldn't feel like you HAVE to breastfeed - I mean, you need to take care of YOU!"

Her: "You shouldn't hold him all the time". Me: "But he's clingy and cranky and I don't think he's feeling well - besides, he screams when I put him down". Her: "Well, just put him in the crib and go out for a walk".

Me: "He just got his shots and is sleeping, I want to keep an eye on him". Her: "Put him in his crib and go to sleep yourself. He'll be fine".

(OK, maybe that last one isn't that big a deal when you read it, but it is to me. I am a mom and an RN, I am well aware - probably far too aware - of the many issues that can arise when it comes to vaccine reactions. And hell, I've been reading too many "don't vaccinate your kid" websites, I admit it. Besides, he doesn't sleep in his crib. Yet.)

So now I figure that I must have been left alone in my crib, screaming for hours in the cold Winnipeg snow. It stands to reason.

I'm just getting tired of the judgments that are being handed down by the Famiglia. Many warnings of how I needed to get Imri accustomed to the bottle - well, he took to it without any problems - or practice - when we were out holiday shopping in the mall. How he's "too clingy".
You see, I don't believe in letting babies this young "cry it out". Actually, I don't believe in CIO at all, at any age. I don't believe that infants should be left alone to scream. Nor do I believe that I am spoiling my son. Does he need to learn to go to sleep on his own? Absolutely. Does sticking him in a crib and letting him deal with the consequences at 8-9 weeks of age sound like a plan? Not even close.

Basically it boils down to this (and both Beaver Girl and Day seem to be addressing similar issues) - I am the parent and I will parent as I see fit. I may suck at it, but as long as my son is happy, well-fed, content and flourishing I can't be sucking too badly.

And according to the doctor, Imri is in the 75th percentile for height and weight and meeting all his milestones, so I'm thinking he's doing pretty well.

In the meantime, he got 4 (poor baby boy!) shots yesterday. DTaP, Polio, Hib (meningitis) and Pneumococcus. It was very important to me that he get his Hib vaccine, as I had meningitis as an infant and very nearly died. As a result - well, other than the obvious, I also have no hearing in my left ear. As for the others? I read up at this good site and made some decisions. The RN who administered the shots was very good at her work and I was thankful. Imri stopped crying after 3-4 minutes and only I was left with tears.

I gave him Tylenol in the doc's office around 11 am and figured we'd see how he did, rather than just dose him round the clock. He slept and ate and seemed pretty good, overall. At 4pm, just after a diaper change, he started to scream. I gave Tylenol quickly but the screaming continued. He screamed. And screamed. Imri is usually relatively easy to console and he was having none of it. I called the ped's office and after being on hold for 10 minutes and almost hanging up and driving like the crazed mother I am to the hospital, a nurse finally came on and basically told me to stick it out another 15-20 minutes and if he was still going for it, I should call back. Fortunately, after *only* 25 minutes of screaming, he finally quieted. His mother, however, was another story. Did I mention that during this time I kept trying to get ahold of John frantically, only to find he wasn't answering his cellphone? Yeah, that wasn't fun either. I was a mess of tears by the time he walked in the door.

Anyway, I dosed Imri again at 8 and again around 1:30 am, just to make sure he was ok. This morning his temp is 99.7 which is fine and I didn't give him any more - he's also been sunshiny, smiling, laughing and cooing.

Up till now, that is. I decided to start getting him used to being put to bed and soothing himself to sleep - that method where you put your baby down and let him know you're there if he gets very fussy, even pick him up and shush for a while but put him down again ... it took a good 45 minutes but he eventually did fall asleep. Poor little guy - crying with his eyes closed, he was so tired. I hate when he cries. But he did eventually fall asleep from sheer exhaustion - and he knew I was there the entire time.

I guess it's some form of happy medium.

Time for my nap too. Can't you tell?

Things you might need if and when your infant comes aka Amy, this one's for you - oh and some other thoughts too.

A couple of thoughts. I was asked by someone why I considered myself infertile (yes, I'm typing this one-handed as my son is sleeping in my arms) as my infertile history isn't as "lengthy" or as "dramatic" as that of others in my link list. Well, aside from debating whether or not that's a rather rude or immaterial question, I realized that I wrote a lot on another journal I used to keep and never transferred it here. I'm gonna try. Bear with me please.

Amy who asked for grrl's list - I have it but have no way of contacting you. Your profile is inaccessible. Let me know how to contact you assuming you're still interested. I can tell you a couple of things that saved me, however.

A bouncy seat w/vibrating mode. OH YEAH, baby. I have the FP aquarium one, he loves it.
PNP with vibrating mode (are you sensing a theme here?)
The swing? Not so much early on but better now. FP Aquarium one as well.
Washable changing table pads. Lots of em.
A good nursing bra. Seriously. I've just ordered a hands-free one for pumping. I hate the one I got at Targez.
Kolcraft infant carrier(infant car seat hooks on).
Washclothes!
Sleep sacks.
Laundry hamper - I bought a big white garbage can with a foot pedal because the laundry hampers at the accursed Wall of Marts had tiny openings, no foot pedals and clearly were NOT designed by a mom with a baby hanging off of her and poopy clothes in her hands. Plus they were more expensive than the garbage cans. Mine looks just like a laundry hamper anyway.
Nursing PJs!!- Can I emphasize this enough (if you plan on breastfeeding)? I had maybe one nightgown with a button-down front. Needless to say, that has changed.

Snugli -drives me bonkers just getting it on. It's a great concept and maybe the one I have is just wretched in design because when I do get it on, Imri loves it.
Boppy - not bad but it's soft and sort of "caves in" which isn't really conducive to great latch if breastfeeding.
My Brest Friend- atrocious name (who the hell is their marketing person???) but I found it useful during the first few weeks. Not so much now because I have fast let-down. But solid and it clips around you which frees your hands a bit.
Infant bath seat - ix-nay. First Safety, I think? Imri hates it and the suction cups just don't stay down. So I get in the bath with him and hold him - he tolerates it that way. I think it will get better when he's able to sit up on his own.

Diapers - we used P@mpers Sw@ddlers when he was newborn but once he started to grow, they leaked no matter how much we went up a size. So now we use Huggie$ $upreme and they rock. YMMV, of course.
Oh and Diaper bag - I ordered the Land's End do-it-all bag and while I love it, it's also quite large. A little too large, actually.

So there you have it. Oh and don't buy too many of those cute clothes - you'll get tons from friends and family.

While I'm talking baby - is there such a thing as an ongoing growth spurt? Imri wants to eat ALL the time. I know there's one at 3 and 6 weeks, 3 and 6 months, etc ... but he is 9 weeks now. Believe it. My son is 2 months old.

Since I seem to be addressing comments, one for David who seems to be perturbed that I am "knocking the US". Well, yes I am. And I shall continue to do so, as long as I feel it necessary. Just FYI, I am an equal opportunity knocker. I knock Canada when it screws up. I knock Israel as well. But on the issue of maternity leave (and healthcare but that's a whole nuther ball o wax), the United States of America is downright PATHETIC and I will say so loudly and clearly and shall continue to say so until someone hears me - and others - and things change. Which will be never because it's against business interests. Which seem to rule in this country above all else, even the welfare of children.

It behooves one to wonder (and I say this without any scientific evidence, I admit it freely)why the US has the highest rate of violent crime of any other Westernized nation - perhaps because moms have to go back to work far too fucking early??

So yeah, I prefer Canada and its social safety net because I believe that not only do citizens have a responsibility to their country, but vice versa as well. I realize that I sound like a flaming liberal (not that it offends me to be called that,I think being a social liberal is a good thing) but you'd be surprised how conservative I am fiscally. Just so you know.

Oh and don't get me started on the assholes who are upset at the Shrub's "holiday" card. Screw you and the horse you rode in on.

'Nuff said.


Oh shoot. Day tagged me. Wench. Next post.

He smiled at me

Really really smiled. Not once. Not twice. Three times in a row amidst a couple of awful/cranky/miserable (and sleep-deprived mommy)days.

All is forgiven, my son. Yes, that's all it takes.

Hedonism 101

Imri loves his food, oh yes he does. He's like mom that way ... more than he realizes. My son seems to be a hedonist.

I put him to the breast. He gets a true gleam in his eye and even before he started to smile for real, he would smile. It's just a look of pure happiness and joy. And then ... the ritual begins.

He sniffs my nipple as if to insure that this is not one of those imposter nipples - nope, it's the real mcdeal. Then he either gloms onto it like nobody's business if he's truly hungry - or, if not as starved, he runs his lips over it lovingly; once, twice, three times, shaking his head from side to side with accompanying sound effects, the gleam in his eye becoming a sparkle.

He licks my nipple once or twice, almost cautiously, then reassured again starts to suckle. And stops, as if he forgot something, raising his head and letting the nipple slip out. He nuzzles it several more times, sniffing as he goes, with the odd grunt or exclamation of glee, milk smearing all over his face. Then suddenly he attacks and nothing else matters - love is forgotten and all that is left is the need to fill his stomach.

If he loses latch or somehow the nipple slips out, he lets out a wail in short order, a wail reminiscent of tragedy, starvation, and a life of misery - unless it is reinserted quickly. To which he chortles with pleasure and gets back down to business.

Yeah.

Last evening I gave him a bath, in the hopes that the warm water would soothe him and perhaps I could put him down early (and in his crib, not John and my bed, AP parent that I am turning out to be)- around 8 or 9pm, have him wake around 11-12, feed and see how he does, either leave him in the crib or bring him into bed. Well, the first part went really well : bath, feeding and he fell asleep. I stole into the nursery around 8pm (we still don't have a rocker there *sigh*) and laid him down, sound asleep until about 8:25 when he started to cry because of gas.

Another feeding attempt yielded little sleepiness. Anyway, he promptly went into his dad's arms now because mom seems to be only synonymous with food. Currently he's screaming bloody murder aka "I'm hungry" although he has pretty much fed non-stop since 7:00. It's 9:30.

We went with the usual 10-11 pm sleeptime. In bed. With me. He finally slept ... after another feeding. But he sure smelled good.

Speaking of baths, he hates being put in the bath seat and screamed as if he was being tortured until I picked him up (I was in the tub with him) and held him, then took a bowl and poured the warm water over his body - which he absolutely loved. I mean ... he LOVED it, smiling as warm water cascaded over his nekkid bits. He cried when I stopped and took him out, only to coo at me when I gently patted him all over and patted his tuchas. You should hear him giggle at diaper change time. I kid you not - one of his favourite activities.

My son the hedonist. It's gonna be fun!