In which I get angry at the goddamned INS
It all started with my cell phone ringing while I was in the procedure room, caring for a patient. A quick glance showed a Toronto number - my heart always clutches a little when that happens. I figured one of two things; 1)my brother and his wife had their baby or 2)something bad had happened to a parental unit. Fortunately, it was the former option - a baby boy! Wonderful news - I had known in my heart that it was a boy- don't ask me how. Just as I knew that Imri was going to be a boy, I knew. There's no science to it.
And thus began the Immigration SNAFU. For those not in the know, SNAFU stands for "situation normal - all fucked up". I believe it has military origins - wouldn't surprise me one iota.
So ... upon the realization that a baby boy had been born to my brother in a different country than the one in which I currently reside, I pulled out my immigration papers. Amongst them was the receipt for something called an I-131 or Application for Travel Document or "advance parole". Basically, it's a document which would allow me to travel to Canada for a special occasion without forfeiting my status (which is currently "shut the fuck up and wait" it seems). Forfeiting my status would basically invalidate all the paperwork John and I had filed, including fees. That would be bad. Very very bad. The fee for this document alone was a crazy $170.
So ...I called the 1-800 number listed on the form and pressed the various options, finally hearing that there was no new information for my case and the anticipated wait time for the document would be approximately 30-60 days. My calendar said June 28th. I filed on April 24th. 60 days had come and gone.
So ... I pushed a bunch of other buttons and finally spoke with a customer service "specialist". I explained the situation to her and she told me I had two options; 1) go to a specific website and make an appointment with an Immigration counselor in Baltimore to discuss my situation or 2)if no appointment was available before I needed to leave, I should just meander on over to the INS in Baltimore and throw myself on their mercy, hoping they could see me. Yeah.
I was in luck. They had an appointment for 11 am. It was 9:08. I looked at Imri and made an executive decision to get going. I grabbed all the necessary (to me) paperwork, Imri's brand new Jeep Liberty Urban Terrain stroller, a diaper bag and boogied.
We arrived in Baltimore with about 20 minutes to spare, a testament to my superiorspeeding driving skills and the lack of cops on the Interstate. I signed in and waited. My number was called and I went to speak with the INS official.
Now I worked in Baltimore at Ginormous Famous Hospital. Baltimorean attitude (and big hair)is not new to me, especially amongst those who figure a little power goes a long way (see: medical clerks and ICU cleaning people. See also: INS "specialists", and weird hair-dos). Yeah, Charm City - my tuchas.
Anyway, I explained my story to her, including the filing of the previous I-131 and why I hadn't received it yet and her response was "Oh ma'am, the 30-60 days is just a guideline. It can take up to 6 months". I did a backstep. Whoa. OK, I kept going
and told her what the customer service person had advised me to do. She was indifferent: "Is this a life or death emergency??" I maintained how it was perhaps a life emergency to me and my family, yes. Where was my proof, she demanded.
I was puzzled. Proof? I queried. Yes, she said haughtily with a raised brow. "How do I know that there was an actual baby born?? Where is your proof??".
Boys and girls, I was dumbfounded. Yes, loquacious me was left pretty much speechless. After all, I'm not asking to travel to Uzbekistan. "Ummm the baby was born yesterday. In Canada. I don't really have any proof". The INS flunky nods and continues argumentatively back and forth with me. She teases me with "well, I could query the status of your I-131...". I look at her gratefully till she continues with "..but that would cost you another $170". I looked at her astonished. And promptly burst into tears.
Now if I had been thinking (which I wasn't, I was going on straight emotional stressed-out, over-tired momma hormones), I probably would have thought to myself "self, don't give this power-greedy bitch the satisfaction of knowing she made you cry". I'm fortunate that my emotional side spoke up because once I started crying, my beloved Imri who till that point had been sunshine and light, started crying too.
Which touched something inside the INS bitch's cold heart and she said "let me talk to my supervisor". I gulped and blubbered a thank you and held Imri close. She returned after a few ... "My supervisor says we will ok it IF you file another petition". I nod slowly as she continues "but we will need another 2 pictures AND another fee of $170". My face must have showed my dismay because she shook her head and said "that's all I can do".
What would you have done? Emotional blackmail of the highest order - my nephew's bris and seeing the family is going to cost me an arm and a leg - money that has ALREADY BEEN PAID and should be refunded (they don't refund fees, oh no. Never. Period.)This document which would allow me to cross the border legally and without penalty is now going to cost me $340. Not to mention money lost from days of work lost. And we are beyond broke.
But it's family. And family is everything. So I did it. Imri and I went to the Ritz camera and I got pictures done. Then the ATM, then to the Rite Aid for a money order. Fill out the petition again. Go back to Big Hair and submit it all. "Have a seat" she says.
And I wait. And wait. And wait. I am finally called up by a woman whom I assume is the supervisor who tells me that the document will go out in the mail that evening. I am blown away again ..."so I won't get it now?". "No ma'am, it will be mailed out. It should arrive in 3-5 days".
That was Thursday. It's now Sunday and nothing. There is no mail Tuesday the 4th. The bris is supposedly Wednesday although it may be delayed because the baby had an infection at birth and because I beseeched my brother to push it back because I really really really can't afford to miss two days of work.
With my luck, I will be out $340 and I still won't be able to go to my nephew's bris.
Can I tell you how much this fucking SUCKS???? How angry I am at the rudeness and callousness of the INS and this money-grabbing scheme of theirs? How wrong this is? How angry it makes me to think that at this very moment there are probably several hundred illegals making their way into this country with little or no hindrance, but I, who had dotted my i's and crossed my t's has to pay through the nose??
The only saving grace of the day was my sweet and beautiful boy, who other than the one crying incident in front of Big Hair, was a complete angel. In fact, a gentleman who had been sitting there waiting together with me and other anxious petitioners, came up to me and said "Ma'am, you have the happiest baby I have ever seen. He's wonderful!". Yes, Imri charmed the INS waiting room. That'll teach em in Charm City.
Oh, and that's while he's teething, too. Yes, boys and girls - we have our first tooth!
And so we wait. Wish me luck that it comes tomorrow. I know it won't, I know it in my heart - but wish me luck anyways.
And thus began the Immigration SNAFU. For those not in the know, SNAFU stands for "situation normal - all fucked up". I believe it has military origins - wouldn't surprise me one iota.
So ... upon the realization that a baby boy had been born to my brother in a different country than the one in which I currently reside, I pulled out my immigration papers. Amongst them was the receipt for something called an I-131 or Application for Travel Document or "advance parole". Basically, it's a document which would allow me to travel to Canada for a special occasion without forfeiting my status (which is currently "shut the fuck up and wait" it seems). Forfeiting my status would basically invalidate all the paperwork John and I had filed, including fees. That would be bad. Very very bad. The fee for this document alone was a crazy $170.
So ...I called the 1-800 number listed on the form and pressed the various options, finally hearing that there was no new information for my case and the anticipated wait time for the document would be approximately 30-60 days. My calendar said June 28th. I filed on April 24th. 60 days had come and gone.
So ... I pushed a bunch of other buttons and finally spoke with a customer service "specialist". I explained the situation to her and she told me I had two options; 1) go to a specific website and make an appointment with an Immigration counselor in Baltimore to discuss my situation or 2)if no appointment was available before I needed to leave, I should just meander on over to the INS in Baltimore and throw myself on their mercy, hoping they could see me. Yeah.
I was in luck. They had an appointment for 11 am. It was 9:08. I looked at Imri and made an executive decision to get going. I grabbed all the necessary (to me) paperwork, Imri's brand new Jeep Liberty Urban Terrain stroller, a diaper bag and boogied.
We arrived in Baltimore with about 20 minutes to spare, a testament to my superior
Now I worked in Baltimore at Ginormous Famous Hospital. Baltimorean attitude (and big hair)is not new to me, especially amongst those who figure a little power goes a long way (see: medical clerks and ICU cleaning people. See also: INS "specialists", and weird hair-dos). Yeah, Charm City - my tuchas.
Anyway, I explained my story to her, including the filing of the previous I-131 and why I hadn't received it yet and her response was "Oh ma'am, the 30-60 days is just a guideline. It can take up to 6 months". I did a backstep. Whoa. OK, I kept going
and told her what the customer service person had advised me to do. She was indifferent: "Is this a life or death emergency??" I maintained how it was perhaps a life emergency to me and my family, yes. Where was my proof, she demanded.
I was puzzled. Proof? I queried. Yes, she said haughtily with a raised brow. "How do I know that there was an actual baby born?? Where is your proof??".
Boys and girls, I was dumbfounded. Yes, loquacious me was left pretty much speechless. After all, I'm not asking to travel to Uzbekistan. "Ummm the baby was born yesterday. In Canada. I don't really have any proof". The INS flunky nods and continues argumentatively back and forth with me. She teases me with "well, I could query the status of your I-131...". I look at her gratefully till she continues with "..but that would cost you another $170". I looked at her astonished. And promptly burst into tears.
Now if I had been thinking (which I wasn't, I was going on straight emotional stressed-out, over-tired momma hormones), I probably would have thought to myself "self, don't give this power-greedy bitch the satisfaction of knowing she made you cry". I'm fortunate that my emotional side spoke up because once I started crying, my beloved Imri who till that point had been sunshine and light, started crying too.
Which touched something inside the INS bitch's cold heart and she said "let me talk to my supervisor". I gulped and blubbered a thank you and held Imri close. She returned after a few ... "My supervisor says we will ok it IF you file another petition". I nod slowly as she continues "but we will need another 2 pictures AND another fee of $170". My face must have showed my dismay because she shook her head and said "that's all I can do".
What would you have done? Emotional blackmail of the highest order - my nephew's bris and seeing the family is going to cost me an arm and a leg - money that has ALREADY BEEN PAID and should be refunded (they don't refund fees, oh no. Never. Period.)This document which would allow me to cross the border legally and without penalty is now going to cost me $340. Not to mention money lost from days of work lost. And we are beyond broke.
But it's family. And family is everything. So I did it. Imri and I went to the Ritz camera and I got pictures done. Then the ATM, then to the Rite Aid for a money order. Fill out the petition again. Go back to Big Hair and submit it all. "Have a seat" she says.
And I wait. And wait. And wait. I am finally called up by a woman whom I assume is the supervisor who tells me that the document will go out in the mail that evening. I am blown away again ..."so I won't get it now?". "No ma'am, it will be mailed out. It should arrive in 3-5 days".
That was Thursday. It's now Sunday and nothing. There is no mail Tuesday the 4th. The bris is supposedly Wednesday although it may be delayed because the baby had an infection at birth and because I beseeched my brother to push it back because I really really really can't afford to miss two days of work.
With my luck, I will be out $340 and I still won't be able to go to my nephew's bris.
Can I tell you how much this fucking SUCKS???? How angry I am at the rudeness and callousness of the INS and this money-grabbing scheme of theirs? How wrong this is? How angry it makes me to think that at this very moment there are probably several hundred illegals making their way into this country with little or no hindrance, but I, who had dotted my i's and crossed my t's has to pay through the nose??
The only saving grace of the day was my sweet and beautiful boy, who other than the one crying incident in front of Big Hair, was a complete angel. In fact, a gentleman who had been sitting there waiting together with me and other anxious petitioners, came up to me and said "Ma'am, you have the happiest baby I have ever seen. He's wonderful!". Yes, Imri charmed the INS waiting room. That'll teach em in Charm City.
Oh, and that's while he's teething, too. Yes, boys and girls - we have our first tooth!
And so we wait. Wish me luck that it comes tomorrow. I know it won't, I know it in my heart - but wish me luck anyways.
posted by K|nneret at 12:04 PM
4 Comments:
Oh Sarah,
That does in fact SUCK.
I'm so sorry that red tape and finances are getting in the way of your ability to see your family.
This may sound incredibly naive, or stupid, or both... but can't you just jaunt over the border sans papers entirely? Like you were a red-blooded American soccer mom? I've never been over the border, so I'm showing my ignorance right now, no doubt.
Still, it sucks that they're making you jump through such hoops.. .I wish it wasn't so.
Yuck. I'll be hoping for the best for you.
Consider yourself lucky - it's been MUCH harder as a U.S. citizen to become a landed immigrant in Canada. It's been 3 years, $1000.00 in fees, 6 blood tests, 6 urine tests, 6 health exams, 3 chest x-rays and the gov't of Canada has just now approved me and the family to be here and permitted to work. It's not just the U.S. - believe me.
Yuch. I'm so sorry. That really sucks. The whole INS thing really scares me, you're totally at their mercy and there's nothing you can do about it. We have friends who have been waiting seven years for their greencards! It's all very scary. I hope it all works out and you get to go to the bris.
Did your papers come? I hope they did! I am sorry for all the red tape nightmares.
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