My not-so-good, bad to terrible, awful first daycare day
I was as organized as a stressed mommy at 5 am could be today - John helped me pack up the SUV with all the stuff I needed; diaper bag, diapers, misc. medications, onesies and wipes for the daycare, favourite bouncy seat and activity gym, my backpack with pump, bottles and hands-free bra, extra uniform, lunch bag, bag with bottles and frozen EBM ... IOW, everything possible.
Traffic wasn't great by the time we hit the road around 6:15 and we got to daycare around 7:15 just as Imri was getting fussy. I nursed him and held him and snuggled him and then fled before I completely broke down in front of him. I got to work around 8:00 after sobbing hysterically on the phone to John.
9:20 my cell phone rings. Daycare says Imri has been screaming inconsolably for 20-25 minutes, they have tried everything and will I please come? I tell the charge nurse and take off.
I get to the daycare - he has stopped crying but is fussy and miserable. He doesn't even smile when he sees me but clings to me. Daycare says he was fine for the first while, played in his bouncy seat, was laughing with the "big girls" (4y.o.) but then started fussing - he wouldn't eat, wouldn't play, wouldn't sleep. She rocked him, bounced him, tried everything and he continued to scream ... until she hung up the phone from talking to me. She said "It was as if he knew you were on the way". He took 1 oz of EBM, but that was it.
My poor baby's eyes were swollen with tears and fatigue. He was SO tired and SO upset. I tried nursing him down but he would hardly eat and every time I laid him in the PNP, he would wake after 2-3 minutes crying. There was no consoling him at all.
Daycare and I decided that it was best to call it quits for today - I am going to bring him by tomorrow (we are supposed to be M-W-F) for a couple of hours, at which point I have to go in and talk to work, and see if we can work something out for the next several days as we try and ease Imri into progressively longer days at daycare.
I started packing up my stuff- he started crying as soon as I handed him to Daycare. It's not her - she's lovely - he just doesn't want to be away from his mommy. As soon as I had him in the car seat, he looked up at me, closed his eyes and went to sleep.
We're home now (although we had a power outage since noon) and he's much happier - he wouldn't let me put him down at first, but now that we've had a good cuddle, nap and feed, he's a much happier boy. He's such a sunshiny kid to begin with ... for him to cry like that means he was really unhappy and I will NOT let him CIO at 12 weeks.
Some of the girls at work said "you're spoiling him" ... well, I don't agree. I don't believe that letting young babies cry and cry and cry is the right thing to do (that's how I feel, others may disagree). I know my son better than anyone does - I knew this was going to be a difficult day because I didn't - and don't - think he's ready for daycare. But we need the money from my work.
Anyway, hopefully work will be understanding and let me do some half days as we ease Imri into this new arrangement, otherwise someone else better volunteer to pay the mortgage.
I can just hear my mother tonight when she calls to see how the day went ... "well, if you had just left him outside for a while ..."
Traffic wasn't great by the time we hit the road around 6:15 and we got to daycare around 7:15 just as Imri was getting fussy. I nursed him and held him and snuggled him and then fled before I completely broke down in front of him. I got to work around 8:00 after sobbing hysterically on the phone to John.
9:20 my cell phone rings. Daycare says Imri has been screaming inconsolably for 20-25 minutes, they have tried everything and will I please come? I tell the charge nurse and take off.
I get to the daycare - he has stopped crying but is fussy and miserable. He doesn't even smile when he sees me but clings to me. Daycare says he was fine for the first while, played in his bouncy seat, was laughing with the "big girls" (4y.o.) but then started fussing - he wouldn't eat, wouldn't play, wouldn't sleep. She rocked him, bounced him, tried everything and he continued to scream ... until she hung up the phone from talking to me. She said "It was as if he knew you were on the way". He took 1 oz of EBM, but that was it.
My poor baby's eyes were swollen with tears and fatigue. He was SO tired and SO upset. I tried nursing him down but he would hardly eat and every time I laid him in the PNP, he would wake after 2-3 minutes crying. There was no consoling him at all.
Daycare and I decided that it was best to call it quits for today - I am going to bring him by tomorrow (we are supposed to be M-W-F) for a couple of hours, at which point I have to go in and talk to work, and see if we can work something out for the next several days as we try and ease Imri into progressively longer days at daycare.
I started packing up my stuff- he started crying as soon as I handed him to Daycare. It's not her - she's lovely - he just doesn't want to be away from his mommy. As soon as I had him in the car seat, he looked up at me, closed his eyes and went to sleep.
We're home now (although we had a power outage since noon) and he's much happier - he wouldn't let me put him down at first, but now that we've had a good cuddle, nap and feed, he's a much happier boy. He's such a sunshiny kid to begin with ... for him to cry like that means he was really unhappy and I will NOT let him CIO at 12 weeks.
Some of the girls at work said "you're spoiling him" ... well, I don't agree. I don't believe that letting young babies cry and cry and cry is the right thing to do (that's how I feel, others may disagree). I know my son better than anyone does - I knew this was going to be a difficult day because I didn't - and don't - think he's ready for daycare. But we need the money from my work.
Anyway, hopefully work will be understanding and let me do some half days as we ease Imri into this new arrangement, otherwise someone else better volunteer to pay the mortgage.
I can just hear my mother tonight when she calls to see how the day went ... "well, if you had just left him outside for a while ..."
posted by K|nneret at 4:28 PM
3 Comments:
I'm so sorry it went so badly. But, on a more positive note, isn't it nice to know your babe needs YOU so desperately.
I don't have any answers, only my support of your parenting instincts. I can't do CIO on my wee one either and don't plan on it anytime soon. Life is too precious and too short for CIO.
So sorry for the bad day, K. Being a nurse, I know how hard it is to go to work to take care of other people, knowing your baby needs you at home to take care of them. I cried the whole first day. I am extremely thankful my MIL takes care of the angel babe so I don't worry so much about her but it is still on me if she is sick or fussy. I have been back to work since she was 2 months old but I do 3 12 hours shifts a week and only 2 together. I still feel guilty in the am when I wake her at 5:15, place her in her car seat and send her off with Daddy to Grams. She sits up, looking at me as they drive off and I curse the universe who has made two income families a necessity. I don't believe in CIO. It means the angel babe still sleeps in our bed at 13 months but I feel she is only little once and I love the feel of her snuggled next to me. Maybe there is a solution in your workplace. I have been pushing for an onsite daycare at my hospital for years and have even discussed a Coop among the moms on my floor. I'll bet the decrease in absences alone would would make it profitable. Having Bella onsite at my work would make it so much easier for me. I also have trouble with finding daycare open the hours I work and the every other weekend I am obligated to work for my employement contract. Here's hoping things get better for you and Imri. Thinking of you
What a horrible experience. I hate how you're feeling. I know it's awful. It will get better. An hour just to get to daycare? That makes for quite a long day for you both. I hope you can work this out.
You already know I'm not a fan of CIO at all...you'll get no judgment from the likes of me.
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