and a Happy New Year
A small story from the other day - I ambitiously took Imri grocery shopping. Not a quick in and out, either ... but a serious order. He started fussing about 1/4 of the way through. I took him out of his carseat and held a nearly 15 lb baby in one arm, pushed the cart with the other. That was much fun and lasted until he got very hungry. He refused the bottle of cool breastmilk I foisted upon him, no matter how I tried. He got fussier and fussier, angrier and angrier and progressively more vocal about his situation.
Three quarters of the way through the Gi@nt Eagle found me in the paper goods aisle, sitting with half my butt gingerly parked on the shelving between large packages of B0unty paper towels, my shopping cart piled high with groceries and partially in front of me, obscuring the view as I breastfed my son.
The only thing that surprised me were the nice comments I got from some moms that walked by, smiled and basically said "you do what you have to do!". I was positive some mean soul was going to get nasty and do a mommy-drive-by, but I was pleasantly surprised at the support offered. And Imri was delighted at the availability of warm breast milk. There you have it.
We've been trying to get Imri used to his crib and its been hit or miss. Miss, mostly. The young man in question does NOT like being separated from his mommy. And daycare starts next week *insert howl of anguish from mommy here*.
Last night, Imri had his bath, then ate (only one side), fell asleep in my arms and I put him in the crib. That lasted 20 minutes. So, more rocking, he ate much more, singing, etc. Another 10 minutes. Then finally he went down for about an hour. I rejoiced but still ...that brought us to 11:30pm.
Considering that the night before he had us up every 15 minutes on the hour till 1am and the couple of nights before that weren't much better, I considered myself lucky and dragged my sorry and exhausted carcass to bed, avec my son, fed him and we both crashed. I guess I'll just keep trying to push it later and later. John hasn't been helping much over the last couple of nights because of the &^#%*@ college football games. Oh and his new DVD recorder/new computer. Whatever. I'm not doing this alone.
Yeah, you may be hearing some bitter. The husbandly one and I are having some issues, especially regarding his coping mechanisms which seem to be on a short fuse usually and more so of late. Not to mention the lack of smoking cessation. And, it seems the shorter fuse = more smoking than usual. And butts left on our driveway to multiply. In general, his shorter fuse makes me unhappy - I feel like I'm walking on eggshells some days and I don't like it, neither am I impressed.
Add to his smoking, the abundant family history of diabetes and heart disease (serious heart disease), as well as his eating habits - and hey, I feel like he's throwing away our years together. And if you read this (he usually doesn't venture here) my love, that hurts me beyond my ability to tell you without causing us further grief.
The following is an open letter to the love of my life. SKIP DOWN if you don't want to read my maudlin diatribe.
You are my sweetheart, my beloved. We got a late start on this love thing, you and I, which makes the time we have together all the more precious. You are the reason for so much of the happiness in my life. I love you with all that I am, and what I'm seeing you do to yourself hurts. You are killing yourself and I say this as your wife and as an RN.
I want to grow old with you. I want us to watch our son grow into the amazing and wonderful young man we know he is going to be, get married (if he so chooses) and have children - our grandkids - and for you to actually be there to revel in that sweet joy. And I want to be able to love YOU. Not your memory, not what we had, but you in the flesh and blood, even if we're both wrinkled, crinkled and scratchy. I don't want my senior years filled with visits to your headstone.
Yes, this diatribe is full of "I" statements, but it's you who is being selfish ... Imri needs his dad and I need my husband. And I am filled with fear, true fear, that I am losing you. Maybe not today or tomorrow but someday far far too soon for us.
I don't like airing our dirty laundry in public but I need to get it out somehow without either of us getting angry and defensive. I've suggested joint counseling and you've shot that down but I don't know what else to do to reach you and tell you how worried and scared I am. This is not exaggerating, sweetheart and deep in your heart, you know that what I am saying is true. I love you so much - please don't do this to yourself and to us. Please quit smoking. Please.
OK, END DIATRIBE.
On to other and better things - Imri has found his hands. This realization has helped him sleep in the crib unattended, I believe. He can self-soothe a bit now so I am quite happy. And on the "other" and not "better" - daycare starts next week when I return to work. Ack. We are meeting the daycare provider this Sunday in her home, just the three of us. It will let her get to know him, etc. However ...
Small problems with the whole daycare issue are these:
1. He doesn't sleep well alone and he still startles readily.
2. He won't take a pacifier.
3. He has stopped taking the bottle. (I went out and bought some new/other nipples, hth)
4. He likes being held. A lot. and he really likes interacting with people, not so much with his activity mat.
5. He's a snacker. Doesn't usually go for long feeds.
I think my kid is gonna fail daycare. Oy.
Thoughts? Ideas? Suggestions?
Found my hands!
Happiness
Out cold after a long fun-filled day
Three quarters of the way through the Gi@nt Eagle found me in the paper goods aisle, sitting with half my butt gingerly parked on the shelving between large packages of B0unty paper towels, my shopping cart piled high with groceries and partially in front of me, obscuring the view as I breastfed my son.
The only thing that surprised me were the nice comments I got from some moms that walked by, smiled and basically said "you do what you have to do!". I was positive some mean soul was going to get nasty and do a mommy-drive-by, but I was pleasantly surprised at the support offered. And Imri was delighted at the availability of warm breast milk. There you have it.
We've been trying to get Imri used to his crib and its been hit or miss. Miss, mostly. The young man in question does NOT like being separated from his mommy. And daycare starts next week *insert howl of anguish from mommy here*.
Last night, Imri had his bath, then ate (only one side), fell asleep in my arms and I put him in the crib. That lasted 20 minutes. So, more rocking, he ate much more, singing, etc. Another 10 minutes. Then finally he went down for about an hour. I rejoiced but still ...that brought us to 11:30pm.
Considering that the night before he had us up every 15 minutes on the hour till 1am and the couple of nights before that weren't much better, I considered myself lucky and dragged my sorry and exhausted carcass to bed, avec my son, fed him and we both crashed. I guess I'll just keep trying to push it later and later. John hasn't been helping much over the last couple of nights because of the &^#%*@ college football games. Oh and his new DVD recorder/new computer. Whatever. I'm not doing this alone.
Yeah, you may be hearing some bitter. The husbandly one and I are having some issues, especially regarding his coping mechanisms which seem to be on a short fuse usually and more so of late. Not to mention the lack of smoking cessation. And, it seems the shorter fuse = more smoking than usual. And butts left on our driveway to multiply. In general, his shorter fuse makes me unhappy - I feel like I'm walking on eggshells some days and I don't like it, neither am I impressed.
Add to his smoking, the abundant family history of diabetes and heart disease (serious heart disease), as well as his eating habits - and hey, I feel like he's throwing away our years together. And if you read this (he usually doesn't venture here) my love, that hurts me beyond my ability to tell you without causing us further grief.
The following is an open letter to the love of my life. SKIP DOWN if you don't want to read my maudlin diatribe.
You are my sweetheart, my beloved. We got a late start on this love thing, you and I, which makes the time we have together all the more precious. You are the reason for so much of the happiness in my life. I love you with all that I am, and what I'm seeing you do to yourself hurts. You are killing yourself and I say this as your wife and as an RN.
I want to grow old with you. I want us to watch our son grow into the amazing and wonderful young man we know he is going to be, get married (if he so chooses) and have children - our grandkids - and for you to actually be there to revel in that sweet joy. And I want to be able to love YOU. Not your memory, not what we had, but you in the flesh and blood, even if we're both wrinkled, crinkled and scratchy. I don't want my senior years filled with visits to your headstone.
Yes, this diatribe is full of "I" statements, but it's you who is being selfish ... Imri needs his dad and I need my husband. And I am filled with fear, true fear, that I am losing you. Maybe not today or tomorrow but someday far far too soon for us.
I don't like airing our dirty laundry in public but I need to get it out somehow without either of us getting angry and defensive. I've suggested joint counseling and you've shot that down but I don't know what else to do to reach you and tell you how worried and scared I am. This is not exaggerating, sweetheart and deep in your heart, you know that what I am saying is true. I love you so much - please don't do this to yourself and to us. Please quit smoking. Please.
OK, END DIATRIBE.
On to other and better things - Imri has found his hands. This realization has helped him sleep in the crib unattended, I believe. He can self-soothe a bit now so I am quite happy. And on the "other" and not "better" - daycare starts next week when I return to work. Ack. We are meeting the daycare provider this Sunday in her home, just the three of us. It will let her get to know him, etc. However ...
Small problems with the whole daycare issue are these:
1. He doesn't sleep well alone and he still startles readily.
2. He won't take a pacifier.
3. He has stopped taking the bottle. (I went out and bought some new/other nipples, hth)
4. He likes being held. A lot. and he really likes interacting with people, not so much with his activity mat.
5. He's a snacker. Doesn't usually go for long feeds.
I think my kid is gonna fail daycare. Oy.
Thoughts? Ideas? Suggestions?
Found my hands!
Happiness
Out cold after a long fun-filled day
posted by K|nneret at 8:12 AM
6 Comments:
Oh Kinneret - he's so beautiful! I'm sorry you are having such a hard time w/your husband. Smoking is such a hard habit to quit (harder than heroin from what I understand).
I don't know if he would be interested in this but I'll post it on the off chance it can help...
I read a study that said that if you combine the patch w/the inhaler you have a better chance of quitting. Thoughts behind this are that the patch gives you a steady stream of nicotine and sometimes you need more - the inhaler gives you that extra boost. You have to do this under a doctor's supervision though (you really aren't suppose to combine the two).
I also know that many times in the past when I had tried to quit, about 3 days into it I would feel like if I didn't have a cigarette I would die. I finally realized this was a panic attack.
I discussed this all with my doctor (who offered to staple my mouth shut if I thought it would help -anything to get me to quit). He prescribed the inhaler, I got the patch and he also gave me a few anti-anxiety pills. I quit on Wednesday, December 7, 2001. That Saturday, panic set in. I locked myself in my house and gave my keys to my boyfriend and told him to go home. I medicated myself for 2 days. It worked - I haven't smoked since.
Kinneret,
Sorry about the comment a few weeks ago that upset you. I appreciate you are an equal opportunity country knocker!
I loved your note to your husband. Smoking is an nasty evil habit. I have lost 2 women close to me from smoking related problems (mother and older sister). Fortunately for me my girlfriend (now wife) made me give up smoking many years ago (it came down to "me or the cigarettes", but it worked). We are still married and I still appreciate what she did for me. Actually giving up smoking was not that bad - I knew it was bad for me and it was expensive. Instead, my wife and I went out for a good meal every couple of weeks on the money that we saved and we both enjoyed that! Unfortunately, a person who really doesn't want to quit will find all kinds of excuses not to quit.
I am also at a loss as to what the hang-up is about breastfeeding a baby in public. You should do what you know is correct and not worry about what silly uptight prudes might think.
Sorry that you can't spend longer with Imri - at his age he probably strongly prefers his mother to any daycare. However, children are amazingly adaptable and as long as they are loved and cared for will do just fine.
Hey you, don't worry about breastfeeding in public. I did it in pretty much every store here and didn't bother to cover up. I figure if anyone says anything its their problem not yours. After all who would rather listen to a baby cry than see a mom breastfeeding?
I'm sorry you are going through hard times with hubby, I know what that's like and the lack of good sleep on your part probably doesn't help your patience(you are looking at about 3 or 4 more years of interrupted sleep by the way).
Imri will probably suprise you with daycare. He'll most likely manage just fine if he can't see or hear you. I know my boy wouldn't take a bottle if I was in the house at all, but if I was out he'd manage just fine. I know its hard to leave him but he'll do great. Trust me! Its a nice change me giving you advice.
On daycare, as a provider, I think he'll be fine as long as you knock in some bottle time at home. If you can't get him to take a bottle from you at home, I'll tell you now he's going to probably starve all day because they WON'T take a bottle from someone else unless he's been taking a bottle at home too. I just had this happen in August with a little girl I watch. She screamed all day (10 hrs) because she was hungry but there was nothing I could do for her because she refused bottles. I also got no cooperation out of her mom as she wouldn't give her a bottle at home. Hth's some!
Very cute pics btw, love the crashed out one!
Umm, is it just me or does Imri *really* favor his dad right now? Your wedding pic is kinda small but I think I'm seeing a strong likeness there! Imri's a real cutie.
He probably won't take a bottle anytime that you are in the room with him, after all he can SMELL that the real thing is somewhere nearby, right?
He'll do fine in daycare. It's really much harder on us moms.
And I hope your husband gets the message. My father didn't quit until he had a heart attack at age 36. He's now 67 and in great shape.
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